Late last night I was still fuming about the Oscar results and so I ate a large block of cheese before going to bed in an attempt to summon the Donnie Darko Ginger Rabbit in a dream.

It did the trick, because shortly after I fell asleep, he appeared, looking very sheepish.

"What on earth were you playing at with those Oscar predictions?" I demanded. "You didn't get a single one right and I've just lost a hundred quid at Ladbrokes!"

He quickly became defensive and retorted "Well what the fuck were you doing, placing a bet like that on the basis of something an anthropomorphised piece of root ginger told you in cheese dream? What are you, a fucking idiot? If a potato with a bit of a face appeared while you were sleeping and told you to put your head in an oven, would you do that too?"

Even within the hazy logic of a dream world, I could see that he had a point.