Last night the Donnie Darko Ginger Rabbit appeared to me in a dream and told me that he already knew the winners in the four main Oscar categories.
I had eaten a cheese on toast snack shortly before going to bed but even taking this into account the dream was very vivid and this was too bold a claim to go unchallenged, so I asked the Donnie Darko Ginger Rabbit how he could possibly know the results a day ahead of the ceremony.
He said he knew one of the Academy members because he was once an ingredient in a gourmet Chinese cooking course they had taken in West Hollywood. In the dream this seemed entirely plausible; of course now, it feels a little tenuous. But then dreams distort reality — for instance, in the dream the Donnie Darko Ginger Rabbit was over six feet tall but in real life he's less than five inches.
"Best Picture will go to There Will Be Blood," he said, "Best Actor to Johnny Depp, Best Actress to Ellen Page and Best Director to Paul Thomas Anderson."
"Are you sure?" I asked him. "I thought Daniel Day Lewis was a shoe-in for Best Actor, Ellen Page's performance in Juno was great but I can't see her being recognised by the Academy until she's built up a larger body of work, and I find it hard to believe that the Coens will get absolutely nothing..."
"I've never been more sure about anything in my life" said the Donnie Darko Ginger Rabbit, and disappeared in a cloud of absolute certainty.
As soon as I woke up I made a note of his predictions and after breakfast went straight to Ladbrokes to put a £100 accumulator bet on the result.
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