Today in the library The Gangsta Unwrappa took things to a new level. Of late I've learned to block out the sound of his popcorn munching and thus relegate him to a source of only very mild annoyance. Intuitively I think he detected this and decided it was time to raise his game.

This morning he strode into the library like a world champion boxer stepping into the ring to defend his title against a rank outsider. He walked purposefully over to a desk across from me, looked around to make sure he'd got everyone's attention, and then pulled his secret weapon out from inside his jacket - a giant multipack of Monster Munch.

Immediately I recognised the genius of this latest move. Not only is Monster Munch a significantly louder snack food than popcorn, but by choosing a multipack over a single large bag, he had created - in one master stroke - the need to open an additional six bags.

He munched steadily through the morning, until around 1pm by which time he had finished the sixth bag and noisily crumpled all seven bags (including the large outer bag) into the bin. He left shortly afterwards and I was just starting to settle down to some writing in peace when he reappeared, triumphant, holding a sizzling chicken fajita on an iron skillet.

At this point, I realised that I was completely outclassed, and packed my bag up and left.