Blue Touchpaper Shoes «

It's 8.39am on Sunday morning and in 35 minutes time I'm on my way to catch a train to Gatwick to go for a week's skiing in St Anton, Austria. The conditions are supposed to be very good, even though there hasn't been any snow since January 1st. I guess it's just cold enough to keep the existing snow in good condition. Or maybe someone's just lying.

I've got a 'clever' widget on my Mac which gives you a little dashboard of snow conditions in your chosen. It currently reads:

St Anton Am Arlberg

-3° 0" new snow, 20" base snow, 0 trails, powder

I don't know what trails are, I guess that might refer to the number of runs that are open. Which would be worrying except that for the two weeks I've been watching it, it's always stayed at 0, and the base snow reading flips between 20" and 55" with nothing in between.

So either the whole widget is screwed or St Anton is experiencing a strangely regular pattern of a massive sudden snowfall, followed by a controlled avalanche. Which, if true, is the sort of thing that usually occurs at the start of a Hollywood "natural disaster" type blockbuster. So maybe we're on the verge of "climate event of global proportions". Or maybe the widget is just screwed.

I've not been on holiday since getting back from a big trip in April 2007 and so it's been a little while since I've even been on a plane — I know these days that's something I should be boasting about rather than ruing but I do like the whole experience of flying.

But I don't know if anything's changed. Do I still have to check in at least 2 hours for departure? Do I still have to hold all of my liquid toiletries in a little plastic bag? Do I still have to take my shoes off going through security just because the person in front of me did so, only to find that the security staff aren't the least bit interested in my footwear when it's my turn to be frisked? And do I still have to spend ages in Dixons agonising over electronic products I don't really need because they might be a bit cheaper than in the shops?

When “shoebomber” Richard Reid was caught with a homemade banger in his shoe it was apparently the first time airport security had contemplated the idea that an explosive device could be hidden in a shoe. So the knee-jerk reaction was to scan everyone's shoes.

If Richard had instead hidden his bomb in a hat, not only would he be referred to as “hatbomber” Richard Reid, which is an even more ridiculous monicker, but there would have been a lot less standing in security queues wearing just your socks. It seems that until someone is actually caught hiding a bomb somewhere, no-one thinks to frisk that place.

It only takes someone to hide one up their bum to ruin flying for everyone.

Anyway, time to go. I'm putting this up a day early because I still haven't worked out how to get scheduled posting working on the blog. Have a good week...